November.

Where has the year gone? The pre made Christmas puddings/fruit cakes already adorn the shop shelves, along with Christmas decor etcetera. When I look at the price of a shop bought Christmas fruit cake, it is obscene.  Even if I didn’t have diabetes I would not waste my money. If I didn’t have diabetes I know in all likelihood, I would probably be still stuffing my mouth with unhealthy junk foods, especially at this time of the year. It’s tough at times, but I am so much more aware of my portions now. Eating more veggies, less carbs, etc. I allow myself the occasional treat, but the occasional treat is not a slab of chocolate anymore, nor a big bag of potato crisps with a can of cola,  it might just a couple of small squares of chocolate, savoured over as long as I can make them last, before they dissolve. When I first began nursing, the first bedpan I gave was to a patient who was half blind and had just had her leg amputated above the knee, because of diabetic complications. She was dying, but I will always remember her begging us to put her into a bath – all she wanted was a long soaking bubble bath, but with her unstable condition, and her wound, we weren’t able give her what she wanted. She seemed old to me then, ( I was only eighteen) but she probably wasn’t much older than I am now, in my early forties.  I have always remembered her, but I remember her more often now, now that I am diabetic myself, for reasons which I think are self explanatory.

It’s nearly midnight and It’s pretty quiet outside for a change – often it’s noisier especially on a Saturday night. I haven’t heard the prostitutes for a while.  Maybe they’ve found new turf – I can only hope.  I can hear the crickets chirping outside, and if it weren’t for the noisy cars that speed by from time to time, it would be truly peaceful, well, at least as peaceful as it can be for a city.